DeSpAiR

I am so angry from you, disappointed.......why you were not there for me as usual in the hard day i went through......???

It wasn't hard cause i went through difficult circumstances, but cause i couldn't feel happy or cheering although i had all reasons to make me feel so???

i needed your support, to feel your spiritual energy inside me, why you were not there???

My angel, seems i can feel no more happiness, i don't understand the reason for the amount of pain and sadness inside my heart , i thought i went over pain , and despair inside me,

i find myself able to cheer up and make all people laugh around me, then i find myself suddenly sink in a hysterical crying....

There is something missing.....

Sure there is something missing....

I have all reasons to make me happy, but still feel pain is my fate..

May be you are the missing thing

May be you don't exist at all....

I am totally lost and lonely....

I look at love rays coming out from eyes of people towards each other, and feel i am deprived of this ray warmth..

I was always a great source of love, supportive to my friends and family, still have a great ability to give...

But don't know why i am not happy!!!!!!

..................................................................................

Angel:

First of All, i was there , i am always forever there, even after death i am there, you are a spiritual being having a physical experience on earth, before you and after you i'll be there...

Second thing my dear, that there was something really missing yesterday, and i blame you for that, it was your spirit, that's why you couldn't see my signs, and you couldn't feel love around you everywhere...

you were thinking of the negative things you had in your life, shamefull things you did, people who disappointed you, being in a state of despair, the soulmate you miss in your way and feelings in people 's eyes you long to feel and share...

After all these bad, disappointing , bloomy , and dark thoughts, how could you ever expect a good day???

Remember the sad music you listened to, even if you didn't choose, but believe me, if you kept reading in your holly book or just meditate in graces of Allah for you, and how much he loves you, supported with everything makes you supportive, giving, loving person, you would feel much better...

You were negative inside, so how could you ever gain positive meanings from outside..

Think of the family you have, although you feel sad, and others who lost their entire families in wars, accidents, sudden death, but still continued their lives in much better way than you do....

Happiness is something coming from inside, not gained from outside..

Didn't you think ever that as i am here for you to support you, there is also a creature always here to ruin your mood, and circumvent you...

I am an angel, and he is a devil...

This devil is also always there, but can't fight me, cause good is always stronger than evil, as you give Good chance to spread into your soul and cut all ways infront of evil...

He doesn't want you dear to be happy, giving, supportive, want you always to think of what you miss not what you already have..

I don't totally blame him, but you at first cause you give his a chance..

But dear..... you have THE NOW..DON'T SPOIL IT AS YOU DID YESTERDAY...

Go, move, do something to heighten your spirit , read the holly book, worship Allah with all ways , magnify him, read books or hear tapes make you feel you live in heaven and can treat people as if you are an angel but with physical properties...

Do that and come to tell me the results